CLOSE YOUR DAMN TABS

Why people with 50 chrome tabs opened are never to be trusted. The science of open loops, decision paralysis, and why 60-year-old virgins on yachts are still miserable.

TLDR


Simp King

> be me, watching my crush's streams every day
> checking her Instagram stories 47 times per hour
> brain running background processes
> "did she see my message?"
> "why didn't she like my comment?"
> "is she talking to other guys?"
> TFW carrying 23 unpaid psychological tabs about her
> Spend days worrying if im cringe and never getting anything done
> Wastes 3 hrs a day rehearsing iLoveEmillia.mp4
> Never actually dares to do it
> Even if she doesnt think im cringe. I do.
> TFW I could have asked her out 60 months ago and save myself 1800 days of mental torture, but I choose to simp

Juvenile Karen

> be me, 4HL girl working a fake job
> stay invested in fixed income 5% while inflation eats my savings
> boomer boss is a dick, makes me want to quit every day
> unmarried genX coworkers are all cat ladies
> waiting until 60 years old to retire like a good little wage slave
> brain running background processes:
> "should I quit?" "am I wasting my life?" "what if I never find love?"
> afraid to marry, feminist Reddit keeps saying guys are abusive
> afraid of getting judged by friends with 2 BMI weight class higher than me
> gooning to Love and Deep Space instead of dating real people
> trump_REEEE.mp4
> TFW Im keeping 33 Chrome tabs about my future opened bc I care about what juvenile karens and boomer thinks about me

Senile Boomer

> be me boomer
> finally retired and unlocked my pension
> no family no kids
> COPE: at least I own 2 dogs from korea that does silly tricks
> goes to thailand and rents an OF model for the holiday
> She cosplays as Astolfo
> hohoho.mp3
> spends $100 for a lap dance
> "haha they dont know im worth $10m"
> goes back to hotel and goons to Grok Ani for the 4269th time
> *dies inside
> Buys more real estate and pray I get lucky
> Translation: JPow prints more dollar so immigrants and kids work for me longer
> "But what if I'm not lucky?"
> Sees gov sponsoring MAID and wants my other broke old friends to sign up to KTS and organ harvest them
> fk fk fk fk but you are too weak at this age
> TFW you are already 70 and you can only be at the backseat of whatever the young people wants to do

Stop keeping tabs opened

Sounds pathetic? Because they all are.

Chrome tabs costs RAM. The more tabs you kept open, the more energy it takes to keep the PC running.

Unfinished tasks, no matter how small, drain mental energy you could be focusing elsewhere.

The debt you haven't paid yet. The decision still unmade. That attractive person's number you haven't asked for. The article not published. The relationship you haven't ended. The message not sent.

Open tabs need energy to survive. But closing them releases energy back into the system.

Do not procrastinate.

We remember incomplete tasks better than completed ones, and this incompletion causes mental tension until the task is closed.

The worse part is that the more you procrastinate, the more the history of procrastination nags back at you.

Close the tab and unlock the RAM. Imagine where you can redirect this reclaimed RAM and enjoying life instead of worrying, being more present, working harder, being happier.

Putting things off doesn't protect you. It amplifies your stress.

Why? Because its better to just get it over with. Prolonged uncertainty hurts more than immediate discomfort.

"Senpai what should I do?"

  1. Admit you have open tabs. Write them all down.
  2. Pick one The scariest one. The biggest, baddest, meanest one.
  3. Be specific: "I will [action] at [time] and [place]"
  4. Do it now or schedule it: but when the time comes, you must actually do it. Do not negotiate with your emotions. You are not a little bitch.

You don't need to fix your whole life. Just close one tab at a time.

> be me, posting this on social media
> getting 3 likes from bots and 1 angry comment from India
> but the tab is closed
> I wrote the thing, posted the thing, done
> TFW you realize you can just do things
> ask the girl out, fire your boss, call your mom, write cringe stuff
> you can literally just do things
> TFW you realize life isn't about avoiding discomfort, it's about choosing which discomfort you prefer
> uncertainty forever, or rejection for 5 minutes
Or if it makes you more motivated, your unimpressive life will not be forgotten.
Kids will remember you as that little bitch who made the wrong choice

Disclaimer

This is not financial advice. Also, don't actually fire your boss without proper legal consultation.

Maybe ask the girl out in person, not via LinkedIn.